So because this has been MY lesson for 2016, I figured I would go ahead and share some of what I have been learning and experiencing to some of you who may also need this message.
Don’t give up your personal power.
The only way to NOT give up the power you have to someone else is to make sure that first and foremost, you are checking in with yourself and making sure you are good. Ask yourself, “does this feel right to me?”, “Am I okay with this?” “What do I want?”. If you begin to recognize that you live your life always catering to what someone else wants/needs/or desires at the expense of your own then you are literally handing them your power and giving off the impression that they are more important than you. Even if this is not what you feel, this is what you are giving off energetically and will continue to attract these dynamics into your life.
It is okay to be a good person.
But it is also okay to be selfish. Sometimes we do and allow things to be done that we are not okay with because we want someone else to feel good, we want to prove to them our friendship, our love, our loyalty, whatever it may be. This is such a honorable trait to have but having it does not mean it will ignite that same thing in the people we deal with. We allow them to treat us in ways that we do not treat them, we are there for them when they are not there for us, because we believe this is us being a good person. We want to set an example or maybe it is just in our nature to be a giver. But when we continue to run our relationships in this way, we are enabling people to keep giving us the short end of the stick. This is actually not us being good people its letting others be shitty people. We give life to a bottomless pit hoping we will reap the rewards but there is NO reward for giving up your power.There’s nothing wrong with no longer feeding into the plot of someone else’s life and no longer being the nice person you used to be, there is nothing wrong with saying no, figure out what is best for YOU.
I personally have always been a people pleaser. I want to be that person in everyone’s life who is the rock, the consistency, the shoulder to lean on, and it has left me feeling DRAINED in almost every case. It has left me abandoning parts of my own life to nurture someone else’s. I’ve come running for people who are MIA when I need them, and I ignored it because “I still want to be there for them”. I advocate self love, putting yourself first, so I am not proud of the fact that for the past 21 years this has been me. But it has, and I’m on the path to changing the treatment I allow from others. I hope that anybody who has also been in my shoes, begins to make change as well.
Honor yourself first, and you will never feel that you are giving too much you.
Happy Hump Day! 🙂
Lust. 